If you want sense, you're going to have to make it yourself.

Identity Thief Strikes in Susieworld! March 15, 2011

Filed under: My Life — susieworld @ 8:51 AM

Someone recently obtained my credit card information and decided to charge something on it immediately, as every identity thief should.

But MY identity thief was not smart and savvy.  Nope.  Not at all.  Instead of heading straight to or filling up the tank of her ’79 Datsun, she opted to try and purchase a subscription to

Something was amiss, though, and those smarties at Match caught on immediately.  Perhaps they knew I was not so stupid as to join an online dating site as a MARRIED WOMAN.  Or perhaps Ms. Identity Thief just couldn’t figure out the bizarre spelling of the name of my first pet.  For the record, it’s Smokee.  And I never use it as the answer to a security question because it’s also my stripper name.

Ms. Identity Thief also didn’t think that my ever alert husband would take a look at the credit card statement.  Her major error, besides choosing to try and rip me off via flippin’ MATCH.COM, was that she chose to steal the information from my JOINT credit card.  Had she chosen my own card, she’d have had more success and I’d probably be paying overdraft fees up the butt for years to come.

Instead, I was interrogated by my husband who was rightfully curious about a charge I’d allegedly made to join an online dating site.

So, lesson learned.  Hopefully by my attempted identity thief.  Don’t mess with me.  I will hunt you down and make sure you only date the losingest of losers looking for dates on the internets forever and ever.  I hope you don’t go trying to rob a bank using your own deposit slip on which to write the “I’m robbing your bank” note.  But DO believe the teller when she says you have to have an account at that branch in order to rob it.

Oh – and I have a new card in the mail.  I’ll have to change my security question, though, which asks what my stripper name is.


2 Responses to “Identity Thief Strikes in Susieworld!”

  1. Banana Says:

    ah yeah right….. nice cover story. I am not buying it.

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