susieworld

If you want sense, you're going to have to make it yourself.

Bad Words September 24, 2011

Filed under: Susie's World — susieworld @ 10:53 PM
The only things that should overstay their welcomes are the in-laws who like to park their giant RV on the curb in front of your house.

Alas, there are so many words and phrases that figuratively emulate the in-laws and I want them to GO AWAY!

 

First on my list is “Baby Daddy.” This expression has never been cute. It’s more annoying than “baby bump,” which has seen a decrease in usage in recent years. The REAL Baby Daddy drama is that it not only makes people sound stupid, it makes them sound slutty. Because the answer to the oft-asked “Who’s the baby daddy?” question is usually “I don’t know.” Unless said Baby Mama has already been on Maury to find out.  Plus, the phrase is completely redundant, as determined by the Department of Redundancy Department.

 

Negative words meaning positive things: I’m old. When you say something is “sick,” I might end up  asking if said something has seen a doctor. Then I would feel stupid. Don’t make me feel stupid. You won’t like me when I’m feeling stupid. Because then I will use all my ammunition to make YOU feel stupid. “Bad” isn’t too bad … er … evil. I think mainly because Michael Jackson helped me understand that bad means good. Somehow I’m down with the use of “fly” meaning something is cool. But I think that went out of fashion when “In Living Color” was canceled.

 

Nonsensical abbreviations, aka txt spk:  If you have to spell out LOL in actual conversation by saying “ell-oh-ell,” you need to go back to school for remedial English.  Again.  Believe it or not, it’s actually easier to literally laugh.  Out loud.  You don’t even have to be rolling on the floor or losing your ass by laughing it off.  Just a plain old laugh will suffice.  Plus, it burns more calories.  Oh, and really?  You can’t spell out ‘you,’ a measly three-letter word? You have to use ‘u’? Seriously, people. If you don’t start actually spelling out words, you’re going to look pretty stupid when you draft your first corporate memo by saying: Hi Team, Ur doing a grt job. I totes ❤ ur work. I appreci8 da F-ort u put in 2 ur project. But u can’t be L8 4  wrk again, k? Thx. ttfn.” Oh, and don’t get me started on the mixed upper- and lowercase letters. Double-you tee eff!

 

Adding extra consonants to the end of a word:  OMG, I think this will totes bug me foreverrrrrr.

 

Now pull up your pants and go get a dictionary.

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2 Responses to “Bad Words”

  1. Dana Says:

    I couldn’t even read the part on Nonsensical Abbreviations… that’s how much I HATE them. There are some discussion boards I visit where people are expected to use DH, DS, DD, and other similar abbreviations. They are supposed to stand for ”dear husband, dear son, dear daughter”. The list goes on and on with initial abbreviations for almost everything. I purposely write out all words, spelled correctly, just to see if I can piss them off.

  2. Emily Says:

    UUUUUGHHH!!!! (look at all those extra letters – but I consider it okay because it was a literal interpretation of the noise I just made)

    I agree. “Sick” drives me crazy. And double-you-tee-eff does “word” mean. I say something, and someone else says, “word”. Is it standing in for an actual word? Like, they’re saying, “I know I should reply with at least one word, so you just pick one”?

    I never got on board with “fly”. It makes me think of a man’s zipper. “Yo, dawg, that is FLY!” makes me think, “Oh, you can lower the zipper and pull a penis out of it to urinate? Oh, okay…. um… that’s strange but okay”. I just don’t get it.

    HATE the DH, DD, DS crap. First of all, I do not talk like that. I can understand abbreviating common phrases to a degree, but I don’t talk about my “dear” family members. I did, however, refer to my ex husband as DA. Dumbass. Not District Attorney. If he’d been a district attorney, I probably wouldn’t have divorced him. That’d be kinda cool.

    “Baby Daddy” is short for “my baby’S daddy”, I think. They’re just to lazy for an S.


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