I have Sirius satellite radio in my car and every Thanksgiving I start tuning in to Holiday Traditions, the channel that plays the “good” Christmas music from the ’40s to the ’60s. You know. The classics – Sinatra, Nat “King” Cole, Mel Torme, the Mills Brothers. (Who are the Mills Brothers??)
What I’m learning is that there are a lot of sexy songs out there from Christmas music’s heyday. Sexy and a little gross.
Has anyone heard the song “Daddy.” I don’t know what makes it a Christmas song, exactly, since it’s really just some woman asking “Daddy” for all this stuff. I mean, any DECENT sugar daddy would know that gift giving is not reserved strictly for the holidays! Sample lyric: “You want to get the best for me.” I’m all for greed. Truly, I am. But there’s something about calling the old dude you’re sleeping with solely for the purpose of waiting until he dies to collect an inheritance “Daddy” that kinda creeps me out.
“Daddy” is along the lines of “Santa Baby,” but more gut-churning. “Santa Baby” is basically just some slut asking for a bunch of unattainable things from SANTA. Not an old dude she’s sleeping with. Wait. I could be wrong there. I guess these two songs are exactly the same.
Another song, one I actually like despite the huge number of bad recordings of it, is “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” This one isn’t gut-churning. It’s CHARMING! I like a song that encourages staying warm with cocktails and cigarettes. I especially love hearing modern singers sing about smoking, even when their voices are ear-splitting. It’s somehow satisfying to know that my frowned-upon vice is still talked about in music every year at Christmas.
There aren’t too many songs out there like these anymore. I don’t see Mariah Carey singing about smoking, though I can actually picture her with a sugar daddy crooning about all the insane things she wants for Christmas. We are talking about a woman who commissioned a life-size ice sculpture – OF HERSELF – for her own birthday party.
Stay tuned for Part Two of my amazing Christmas music blogogy – Why Suicide is Most Prevalent at Christmas.