You know what’s scary? Tim Burton. You know what’s scarier? A picture of Tim Burton sledding with his children. He looks like Albert Einstein with a dye job and is what inspired me to choose this week’s issue of People to blog about (or “about which to blog” for my grammar friends).
One thing I’ve learned by reading any magazine ever printed in recent weeks (as well as watching NBC for 30 seconds or more) is that I HATE “SMASH.” Don’t take this to mean I’ve watched it. I haven’t. I refuse to. Because of all this annoying heavy promotion. If it weren’t for a friend of a friend being the assistant choreographer on Smash, I would wish it a quick and painful death.
Sinead O’Connor says she “was falling apart” when she was feeling suicidal while tweeting. Do NOT tweet that you’re suicidal unless you’re only trying to get attention and really aren’t suicidal at all. There are so many other things that make Sinead a total whackjob, but neither of us has time to go into all of them.
People thinks it has the solution for how to rescue The Bachelor. I feel about The Bachelor the way I feel about Smash. It makes me suicidal and in the mood for Twitter.
There’s a story about how Demi Moore’s kids are coping with her problems was not informative at all. I still don’t feel like I know how they’re coping and that makes me sad. Not quite suicidal, though.
Ray Romano talks about “how we beat cancer.” But he didn’t technically do the beating. His wife did. So taking credit for something like this is pretty annoying. It’s like when guys say, “We’re pregnant!” No, YOU’RE not. SHE is. Shut the hell up. Don’t MAKE me all suicidal and shit.
Oooh! Six new breeds will make debuts at the WKC Dog Show! The only breed in English is the American English Coonhound. The rest were all foreign weird names that I won’t even pretend to spell or pronounce. But this news makes me want to LIVE. And tweet about it.